And you can’t fix it, no matter what.

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Photo by Francesco Mazzoli on Unsplash

To begin, I take umbrage (what a fantastic word) with “still.” Still implies that you’re late, that you haven’t done something fast enough, and that’s bad. Last I checked, not only was there no globally mandated timeline for partnerships, but I’m pretty sure we have the capacity to love until we’re dead. Whatever time it is, you’ve got more, and “still” is a trash way of pressuring you into feeling like a loser. Now then, let’s get on with it.

This is a response to an article that was recently brought to…


A helpful pre-publish question for anyone who wants people to read what they write, ever.

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Pals, if you don’t care if anyone on earth ever reads your work, for heaven’s sake don’t feel compelled to read this. I’m speaking specifically to writers who would strongly prefer that after they publish something on the internet, other people actually read it. Dare I say they’d enjoy other people sharing it as well? I’m going to give you a very simple and implementable piece of writing advice that you can use any time you write something and post it anywhere. I bet you…


Stuck between a wrinkle and bankruptcy? There’s hope.

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This post is not sponsored, but Versed did send me these three things after I wrote about them in another post, which you can read here. I’ve bought every other item I’ve ever used from Versed, including multiple bottles of Sunday Morning serum, myself.

There’s a difference between buying skincare because you think you’re supposed to, and buying skincare because the mirror commands it. Yes yes positivity, we’re all beautiful, fine. Call me when you see your own face morph into a person you don’t recognize and the only thing that can put the ship back on course costs $200 an ounce. I’m melting, dammit—help.

I’m 38 years old, do you hear me? This isn’t some product review from a 26-year-old salaried beauty editor trying serums atop perfectly youthful skin made of glass and then attesting…


A new piece of single-shaming hits the shelves.

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They’re casually cruel, the degrading and devaluing ways people speak to single women. The shame we absorb from “How are you still single?” The lack we absorb from “Are you seeing anybody?” The fear we absorb from “You’re not getting any younger.” The anger we absorb from “Tell me your dating stories!” All while receiving invitations to other people’s validating celebrations in the mail more often than credit card applications and bills. There is casual cruelty in the way single people are spoken to, spoken about, and viewed in society. …


Dating is an industry feeding on the fear, shame, and insecurity of singlehood—and it’s thriving.

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How much would you spend to maybe get what you paid for? Personally, if I’ve made the choice to spend my money with a business or a service, I’m getting what I paid for, or they’re not getting my business. But in the dating world, it doesn’t work that way. Single people pay endless sums of money to various players in the dating industry. That’s what it is by the way—dating and “finding love” have become an industry, one that feeds on the shame, fear…


Sh*t. It’s the same, isn’t it?

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Photo via Zara

It’s a SWEATER WITH HOLES. Is it me? Am I the loon? Or have I simply been driven to madness by humanity’s own distaste for logic? Sweaters are for warmth, holes are for air conditioning. You’ve done something to a garment that NEGATES THE GARMENT. Look, not to be all “get off my lawn, damn kids” about it, but this is so stupid I want to put my head in the Vitamix.

Maybe it’s because this has been a particularly zealous winter and places that have never seen snow are suddenly giving Alaska a…


What to pitch, how to pitch, and all your questions in between.

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Photo by Toni Cuenca from Pexels

Atta Girl Writers! People who want to be Atta Girl writers! Let’s Zoom! Since we launched this 90s baby in October of 2020, we’ve held monthly group Zooms with all published Atta Girl writers. It’s important to us to create both a publication and a community where we can help each other develop our skills and ideas and maybe also talk about movies or lip gloss. This month, we’re opening up our monthly Zoom to everyone, even those who haven’t had a story published yet!

If you’d like…


Hey guys, so a lot of you have been asking…

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Photo by Elijah O’Donnell from Pexels

So you guys, I know you’ve seen these leggings everywhere, they’re going crazy viral right now. They’re the “butt scrunch” leggings that make your butt look basically like regulation size sporting equipment regardless of your natural shape or proportions which are probably not good enough anyway. Also the fact that you just read the words “butt scrunch” leggings means you’ll be getting my affiliate ads for “butt scrunch” leggings for the next 7–10 days, with a repeat retargeting sometime in May just for kicks. Or you could just buy them…


Reading myself for filth.

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Photo by Koshevaya_k from Pexels

Okay first of all, I read. Let’s not weave a mental picture of my private library, volumes to the ceiling, but me atop a chaise lounge in the corner on my phone. I love to read, of course I do. Books have developed me into a real person the way a Polaroid shows up after you shake it for awhile. I became a writer because I loved books and wanted to be like the authors on book jackets, living somewhere just outside a city with my garden and pets. In reality I live in a concrete…


Time + elastic waists = obsession

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Photo by Ekaterina Bolovtsova from Pexels

What else are we going to do? What else are we going to WEAR? I’ve been inside for a year loose fabrics are all I’ve got. I can’t possibly be the only person who categorizes her comfywear—I know you do this too, I see you, you gremlin. Believe it or not, pajamas are just one branch of my zipperless wardrobe family tree. I fell over in the dirty Brooklyn snow yesterday. Life is insane. Moving on.

How do you categorize your pajamas? This is an important question that we all have ample free time…

Shani Silver

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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