Yep, Just Checking. Still Mad About Bran.

And now my subscription has ended.

It’s been nine days. In internet, that’s a year, so I thought by now I’d have cooled to the “ending” the Game of Thrones team chose to leave us with. Spoiler (and not the only one): I haven’t.

Before I begin, yes I am angry about a television show. Yes, I realize that in this particular day and age there are far more important things to be angry about. But in this day and age I used to rely on things like Game of Thrones to take me out of this world and make me feel less angry about the steady swirling of humanity down the toilet and now even my dragon-laden comfort is gone from me. Also, telling someone they’re petty and childish and entitled for getting annoyed enough at a television show to write about it is also bullshittish in nature. That television show has been making money off of me (and a few other people, I’ve heard?) for eight years. It has been reaping the benefits of its own attractiveness for a significant portion of time so let’s not let its appallingly bad ending suddenly turn us all into morons out of convenience. Don’t try and tell me this wasn’t a global phenomenon, Sharon, I have Game of Thrones Monopoly on my shelf right now.

Bran? Are you fucking kidding me? BRAN?? The guy who can literally white eyeball himself into anyone and anything and chose NOT to commandeer a dragon at any point? The guy who chose NOT to stop Daenerys from melting the population of an entire city? The guy who did kind of nothing for an entire season while people were fighting and suffering all around him even though he’s literally the only character (Melisandre doesn’t count I’m still mad about Shireen) with genuine superhuman abilities? Okay I’m done.

Wait, no I’m not. This is also the guy who revealed to his brother nope cousin that he’s the real heir to the Iron Throne and his name ain’t actually Jon. WHY TELL HIM THAT? What was actually the purpose of tossing everyone’s lives into turmoil? Because he knew who would end up on the throne anyway? Sorry, I don’t buy this brooding brunette in the corner having power cravings and being evil enough to shake Jon’s snow globe that hard. This kid created disarray, helped nobody, and snatched the thing Daenerys had been putting in actual effort for over the course of eight seasons like a cookie off a counter. Cool.

Let’s ignore for a moment that the “prince who was promised” was ever a thing, because apparently we’re expected to. Let’s ignore that Jon Snow was ever an heir to the throne because that information turned out to be all kinds of useless to us. Let’s ignore that the last person to ever sit on the Iron Throne was fucking Cersei. The television-watching population of the planet was in love with Game of Thrones for years. YEARS. We spent time, we spent money, we made Game of Thrones successful by giving this much of a shit about it. And then those in charge of it decided they didn’t care what we’d invested, they didn’t care what we wanted, and they were going to just…eh, wrap things up. It’s dismissive and rude and as a result I think I’m done with television. Bring me a book.

The ending of Game of Thrones was bad. Really, truly bad. I never, ever thought something so good could end so poorly. If millions of people love you, if they allow you to matter this much, you give them what they want on your way out. You just do. Six Feet Under, Sex & The City, Avengers, these are franchises that don’t leave the people who love them, who made space for their storytelling, literally hanging unsatisfied into oblivion. Game of Thrones was one of the best television shows I’ve ever seen. It is one of the best stories I’ve ever seen told. But now that’s not how I’ll remember it.

Now all I’ll remember is an ending that didn’t make any damn sense. That’s what they left us with. Nonsense and out of character behavior and a guy pushing in chairs.

“Hey, let’s make a show called Game of Thrones and have it be about everyone chasing down a throne and melt the throne and give it to someone who isn’t even on the short list of people who should even remotely have it. Who cares what the fans want, they don’t matter at all. It’s not like they’re 100% of the reason why we’re here. Suckers. We’ve got other things to do so just throw darts at photos of the cast and see what shakes out.”

I can’t believe that was what we waited for. The end.

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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