Things I Do With Friends That Aren’t Just Going To Dinner

Shani Silver
6 min readOct 29, 2019

If I have to split one more check on Venmo…

Photo of The Culpepper in London by Shani Silver

There’s a habit in adult friendship that’s causing staleness. It’s like someone left the bag open on modern ways to hang out and we’re all kind of disappointed every time we take a bite out of being friends. I worry this limiting habit, this only doing one thing will actually cause friendships to wither, too, and I’d like to do my part to expand quality time between friends to activities beyond bar seating.

These will take a little effort on your part, that’s the catch. I know we’re all quite comfy with how effortless Resy, OpenTable, and the 9–10 hour workday have made it to meet for dinner and feel that we’ve sufficiently tended to our friendships for the following 2–3 months, but I am excited for you to see how much richer your life and hangtime can be with the exuding of a morsel more effort. The ROI is impressive, I promise.

  • Seasonal Activities: Sign up for a newsletter, will you? Start informing yourself of seasonal activities where you live. We are currently in the middle of the gold standard in local seasonal happenings, everything from apple picking to ice skating is on the table from here til January. Stop batch deleting those Thrillist emails—actually go to one of the things inside them. Taking yourself out of your usual space and trying something new is at least refreshing, and at best you have a new tradition. There’s a reason that “stuff” is always going on—it’s good stuff! This summer I watched a brass quartet play in the courtyard of a museum. It cost me $15. This fall, I attended a cider tasting at a Botanical Garden—I’m a member, so it was free. I am extremely happy I did these things instead of not doing them. I had fun with friends, we experienced something interesting together, and we’re always excited for the next one. FYI, it’s an art fair.
  • The Daily Dream: Once a day I text a friend of mine a dream or goal I have for myself, and she sends me one back. She lives across the country and has three children so it’s not always easy for us to stay connected or maintain an awareness of what’s going on in each other’s lives. But we do know each others personalities well, and the Daily Dream gives us insight into each other in a really meaningful (and massively easy) way. Find a friend that…
Shani Silver

Author, podcaster. shanisilver@gmail