Self Worth For Single People

Shani Silver
17 min readMay 16, 2023

What a concept.

Photo by Shani Silver

What even is self worth? Has anyone ever defined it for you? Have you ever defined it for yourself? If not, save any overwhelmed, stressed feelings for your next murder podcast, you won’t need them here. Right now, you’re in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time, you’re not doing anything wrong, and you’re not behind in any way. We’ll walk through the meaning of self worth together. I hope that the next time you scroll past a social media post mentioning self worth, you won’t have to rely on a meme to define meaning. I think self worth means the most when we figure it out for ourselves, anyway.

In my view, self worth is the understanding of one’s own value and right to authentically exist in the world. It’s our inherent permission to move through life without apologizing for all the ways you naturally think and behave. The knowledge that your existence is not an imposition upon humanity, that you are not a burden. Self worth is available to you–whether you’re establishing it for the first time or reclaiming it from societal single shaming and a dating culture that want to rob you of it at every opportunity.

I think single women should do what we want with our adulthood. I think we should spend it working, building, creating, interacting, learning, resting, enjoying, making choices that are important to us, doing the things that light us up. I don’t think single women should spend our adulthood under the weight of singlehood sadness or presumed partnership pursuit obligation, and the diminished self worth that can result from both. I don’t want us to spend our lives lacking and longing for one thing we don’t have, pressured to fix something about us that isn’t actually wrong. You don’t have to spend your one actual life assuming you’re less-than or less whole just because you don’t share a bed with someone.

Of all the things in the content creation world that annoy me (and there are many), my least favorite might be hollow advice that sounds nice in theory but when put into practice crumbles like a sandcastle meeting a wave. Other work created specifically for singles is almost entirely limited to “dating tips” for use in a dating culture that’s slowly dissolving in battery acid. I want to help single women feel better, all the time, and I think we deserve support that…

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