Relationship False Starts & Single People’s Hope
One is attacking the other.
Relationships are hard work. You’ve heard this. Someone’s said it to you over dinner, maybe when you’ve expressed exasperation with your singlehood. Instead of showing you empathy, someone centers their own experience and lets you know that the very thing you’re looking for is “no picnic.” Maybe you’ve heard “relationships are hard work” so many times that it registers as little more than an eye roll for you at this point, because it’s always said as though people think they deserve a reward for maintaining a relationship when they choose every day to remain in it. I don’t know I’m just spitballin’ here.
You know what else is hard work? Hope. We don’t talk about it much, we kind of just fold it into the batter of singlehood’s job requirements. The hope of a single person is being actively eaten away by the desire for and pursuit of partnership on a daily basis and yet we’re expected to magically replenish every little nibble all by ourselves. Why don’t we acknowledge, and similarly provide empathy for, those of us who exist in a world for years — maybe decades — where all we’ve ever received in exchange for our hope is nothing?
It’s a tough concept in the abstract. I’m talking about crushes. I’m talking about the cute new guy at work. I’m talking about the barista you’re pretty sure…
