Quit Dating, Right Now

Here’s why.

I know how you feel right know. I know the knot in your stomach. “But..if I don’t date, I’ll never meet someone!” I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re willing to listen to someone talk about singlehood in a way that doesn’t blame or shame you for the fact that you’re not in love. You deserve more than that. You definitely deserve a life unburdened by what dating has become, and you deserve it before you find a partner. You have more options than just swearing off dating or allowing it to consume your time, attention, sanity, and life. We just don’t talk about them very much.

There are obvious complaints about singlehood. No one to try new restaurants with. We don’t split rent. The constant “been on any good dates lately?” questions from friends. I could gripe about never having anyone around to manage the spiders, or perhaps the struggle involved in having to freeze half of my groceries because otherwise they’ll go bad before I can eat them. But no, today I’d like to bitch about something else entirely, something that’s — as far as I can tell — entirely ignored by the single and dating set, despite the fact that it causes us active harm, every day: It’s the assumption that if you’re single, you have to focus on dating.

You’re not thinking about it, you didn’t plan it this way, but a side effect of growing up in a society built for…