“It’ll Happen When You’re Not Looking”

Sure.

Photo by Shani Silver

Singlehood self worth, or a significant lack thereof, impacts our decisions. More specifically, the decisions we think we’re allowed to make. It might feel uncomfortable to realize that some of your behaviors and thoughts have been influenced by societal single-shaming narratives, and that you’ve been subscribing to them without realizing it. I never say what I say to shame any of us, because I am us, and I’ve been where you are. I never realized so many freedoms and truths about singlehood because I was never encouraged to think beyond the societal norms that were telling me how wrong and bad my single status was. I hope that you find encouragement in my words, never shame. We are all reframing our mindsets and building our self worth together. This is a process, one that has big “get there when you get there” energy. You’re not doing anything wrong, I promise.

I kind of equate an absence of self worth with being in the backseat of a moving car, and there’s no one behind the wheel. (As an aside this is literally one of my recurring nightmares. There are others, I’ll tell you about them sometime.) When we aren’t driven by internal worth, and instead sort of hand over that responsibility to how we think we’re perceived, or how we’re actually treated by society, it can feel like our life isn’t up to us. This can lead to immense feelings of…