If I Flew To Your Wedding, You’re Buying My Book

Multiple copies, hunny.

Omg congratulations! That’s the only thing my ears are available for right now. And I want it said with gusto, mkay? I want it said with the kind of fervor we save for white dresses and tiered cakes and left hand jewelry. I’ve been a writer since six years old and I just wrote and self-published the first book of my life. Lift my ass up in a chair, ya got…