How To Not Read How To Not Die Alone

A new piece of single-shaming hits the shelves.

They’re casually cruel, the degrading and devaluing ways people speak to single women. The shame we absorb from “How are you still single?” The lack we absorb from “Are you seeing anybody?” The fear we absorb from “You’re not getting any younger.” The anger we absorb from “Tell me your dating stories!” All while receiving invitations to other people’s validating celebrations in the mail more often than credit card applications and bills. There is casual cruelty in the way single people are spoken to, spoken about, and viewed in society. How Not To Die Alone is the latest in a long line of books reiterating how single is one of the most shameful, lack-soaked things you can be.

The book is written by Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, so if it feels a bit like a saxophone salesman writing a book on the benefits of owning a saxophone, go with that feeling, it’s on point. I bought and read this book after a podcast listener of mine sent me a message about how bad the book made her feel. While I’m adept at fielding negative incoming messages aimed at myself, if you hurt a member of my community, you have poked a dragon with a stick. So what follows here won’t be particularly flattering, but it will be my honest opinion. If she can write that, I can write this. She fired shots first.