How To Feel Better About Being Single

(Especially at the holidays.)

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Photo by Ana Rocha from Pexels
  • Old Thought: If I could just find someone, I’d be happy. New Thought: There is no perfect life situation that fixes all problems and has none of its own. I’m so lucky I have this time alone to figure out what really makes me happy, because another person will never be responsible for my happiness. That’s my job.
  • Old Thought: I hate sleeping alone. New Thought: I get the whole bed.
  • Old Thought: My friend just got engaged. I am so jealous. Why can’t I meet someone and get engaged? What’s wrong with me? New Thought: There is nothing inherently more “right” about my friend than me. She just happened to meet someone. I just haven’t met someone yet, and that’s largely due to luck, fate, the universe, whatever. My singleness isn’t a sign that I’m flawed. She’s not perfect, either.
  • Old Thought: I can’t believe I’m spending another holiday alone. New Thought: I get to spend this holiday doing exactly what I want—or don’t want—this holiday is entirely mine.
  • Old Thought: It’s just me at the holidays this year, so I should just get a little mini tree. New Thought: I don’t deserve something less or smaller just because I’m single. I want a 6-foot faux white tree covered in lights. (This one really happened to me. Tree photo below as proof.)
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I had a mini tree for years. And then…

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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