How To Be Single On New Year’s Eve

And not hate it.

Photo by Karina Carvalho on Unsplash.

I tend to run from conventional tradition. During my Bat Mitzvah, they tried to lift me up in chair and I hid in a cabinet. I wasn’t fond of heights and had my doubts about the coordination of the chair holders. Not all traditions are awesome is what I’m saying. There’s one tradition that single women fear, one they can’t hide from. We spend a lot of being single feeling left out, and this is peak: We don’t kiss anyone at midnight.

It sucks, I’ll say that. Nobody wants literally the first second of a new year to feel sad, lonely, and awkward, but for us it is, every time. It’s a potent shot of lonely, just as we welcome in a new year, and a fresh start. It’s pretty bullshit.

I’ve learned a lot about these kisses, having been their spectator for years. They aren’t romantic or passionate, they aren’t declarations of love. They’re just happy. Joyus little kisses that come naturally and never get a second thought. No one’s thinking of the years they didn’t have someone to kiss as the ball drops, they just do it reflexively, happily, the party never pauses for them.

I don’t want to live in fear of a time of day. I don’t want to begin every new year at a deficit. Thusly, over the years I’ve collected a few best practices that make literally dropping the ball a better time. I hope they’re helpful, and if they’re not, pop a cork, hunker down, and get home before the Lyft price surges. You can do this.

If we’re going to resolve to do something, maybe it’s to let go of feeling bad for kissing no one, to replace that moment with something positive, and to move past it and into what will hopefully be an amazing year with confidence and joy. The stroke of midnight is just one second, there are 31,557,599 more with your name on ’em. Happy New Year.

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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