Getting A Column Won’t Save You

Carrie Bradshaw, this is your fault.

I blame you.

Stop this. Stop wanting columns. For the good lord’s sake stop pitching them. Nobody wants to give you a column, and that’s okay. If, after scorching this earth, I leave nothing more in my ashy wake than a writing community that stops treasuring goddamn columns I will consider myself a success. Why are we like this? Why do I keep seeing pitches for columns (my publication…