Enough Already. Where The F*ck Do I Meet My Husband?

Shani Silver
8 min readNov 17, 2021

If this is you, we should talk.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Everything’s fine until you’re tired. Until fatigue sets in, single women are on board for quite a lot. You’d be impressed by the very volume of dating advice, dating services, dating strategies, and dating coaches that single women will seek out before we’re no longer willing to go along with this shit. Everything’s fine until you’re tired. And at some point…maybe a year, maybe five years into a single woman’s actively dating life that hasn’t moved the needle on her relationship status even a hair, a new mood takes hold, and it has no more patience for your dating advice. That mood is: Enough already. Where the fuck do I meet my husband?

Enough. When is it enough? When have you taken enough advice, rewritten enough profiles, retaken enough photos, gone on enough first dates god knows—when have we done enough work in the single space to just meet someone already? When you hit this place, this frustration and exhaustion fueled by years of unanswered effort, you are my audience, and I’m so happy you’re here. You did “enough” the day you were born, no further effort was required of you after that for the love you inherently deserve as a human being. I’m sorry we were groomed to believe something different.

Effort is not required to meet the right partners for you. I know that in saying this to an exhausted community that’s been steeping in a tea of unfairness for years, I risk you throwing digital cabbages. That doesn’t mean it isn’t true. We don’t actually have to grind it out in the dating space for years on end assuming that eventually we’ll have “earned” a partner through our struggles.

You know how I know? Think of the reasons you’re still on the dating apps. It isn’t because you’re having fun there, I know that for fucking sure. It’s because you know someone who met someone on a dating app and now they’re married, and that’s the carrot that keeps you coming back to—I’m sorry coming back to and paying for—a dating app that loses money the minute you fall in love and therefore has no incentive to actually help you do so. You’ll believe the stories of how people met after clawing their way through the festering crap in a dating app, but why won’t you put just as much faith in the stories of people who did absolutely nothing and

Shani Silver

Author, podcaster. shanisilver@gmail