An Open Letter To The Dementors Who Hate Love Actually

Leave my joy right where you found it, thanks.

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The first time I saw a piece of content shit on Love Actually, I thought it was a joke. An Onion-esque headline, if you will. Now I realize these people are being serious, it’s just that they’re evil. Hey, I know what let’s do, let’s live in a world that’s going to hell in a handcart and then simultaneously suck the joy from a Christmas classic. Yes I just called it a Christmas classic, what are you going to do, ground me? Have fun.

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Speaking of fun, that’s why I watch Love Actually. Literally every year on Christmas Eve. For fun, because despite the bummer moments (you know, the ones that give the movie a range of emotions rather than just holiday fucking fluff), this movie is fun, and I have a few words (more than a few, I’m heated people) for the fun-sucking grumpmongers who want to try to tell me that Love Actually is a bad movie.

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First of all, who hurt you? I’m sorry about it but please don’t shit on my movie. I’m sure that rewatching it 15 years later through clickbait colored glasses allowed you to notice all kinds of “new” things that didn’t bother you at all when you were 20. That doesn’t mean those of us with souls have to hate it, too. Allow for people to love things without you splashing your disgust across them. And yes, I’ve splashed disgust too, but that was about The OA, and I don’t think I need to explain the entertainment chasm that exists between the two. Let love live, that’s all I ask.

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Second of all, have some perspective. Love Actually is not going to win awards or heal climate change. It’s not going to mentor you or profoundly impact vital issues of the day. Asking this film to win critical acclaim and have societal impact is like asking your lawnmower to run to the store for a pint of milk. That’s simply not its job. Love Actually is just going to make us smile on Christmas a little bit and why must you deny it its goal?! Appreciate this film for what it is, not what it isn’t, or what it could have been. The final cut came through in 2003, it’s over you guys.

Third and finally, leave my joy alone. Stop sucking what remaining glitter and twinkle lights cling to the walls of my tattered brain. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but life is hard. Let’s find our joy where we can as long as it’s not hurting anybody or our planet and to my knowledge my movie minds its own goddamned business. I have loved this film for 15 years and I will not allow your curmudgeonry to rip the rug out from beneath my fuzzy socked feet, particularly not at this time of year. We are in pre-Valentine’s Day territory and you will not deplete my stores of positivity, I simply won’t have it. Your cinematic opinions fall on earmuffed ears, I tell you!

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In conclusion, damn your Love Actually opinions and the storm cloud they rode in on. It is a Christmas movie, it is my Christmas movie, and if opinions about it actually are all around, here’s mine.

Also: Alan Rickman & Emma Thompson. Hush.

Written by

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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