A Tasting Menu Of Contradictions

Pairs well with The Changeling, by A.C. Newman

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Amuse Bouche

Prude / Slut

Hors d’oeuvres

You’ll never meet someone in your living room. / You’ll find someone when you aren’t looking.

Be yourself. / Don’t talk about X.

Show a little leg. / You’re too old to wear that.

Main Course

Have you tried online dating? / You need to stop meeting guys online.

You’re so pretty! How do you not have a boyfriend? / You’re so superficial, it’s not all about looks.

You shouldn’t sleep with him yet. / You need to get laid.

I dont get why you’re single. / Maybe you just haven’t tried X.

Don’t settle. / You’re too picky.

Dessert

Someday you’ll find “the one.” / Who actually believes in soul mates?

You never know! / Why would you go out with someone like him?

Cheese Plate

It’s a numbers game. / All it takes is one.

Written by

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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