A “Nice Guy” Is Not Enough
And there is nothing wrong with wanting more.
I don’t care about how things sound, I care about how things are. So when I hear the term “nice guy,” where once I might have clamored to know his name, profession, height (leave me alone) and social media information immediately, now I hear a phrase like “nice guy” and think to myself…and?
What else? What else have you got besides the fact that he’s “nice?” What else about this person drove you to tell me he exists other than the fact that he’s single, I’m single, and he’s “nice?”
What’s a “nice guy,” really? Someone who’s not an asshole? Does that sound like aiming high enough to you? Or have we been so starved for positive attention and interaction in the dating space that a “nice guy” with little to no additional information available sounds great? I wonder if one of the reasons we get repeatedly disappointed in dating is that our standards (and self worth) are set low and the world is meeting us right there. It’s no wonder we’re disappointed when we never think we can ask for things that aren’t disappointing.
Let me tell you what a nice guy actually is. A nice guy is the product of a heterosexual singlehood narrative that shames women and cherishes men, combined with a dating culture that’s allowed men to get away with the very foulest of behaviors, privately and without…
