A Gift Guide For Single Women Because Email Marketers Ignore Our Existence

The ULTIMATE list of gifts that won’t make you feel like abandoned pool water.

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

I was still vacuuming up fake cobwebs and packing away my faux gravestones when the holiday gift guide emails tsunami’ed my inbox. If this is where we are, fine. I’ll play along.

What I won’t do this year is suffer through tailored gift guides sent by stores from fashion to fishing tackle without ever once curating their gift guides for single women but instead assaulting our inboxes 20+ times per day with reminders that we’ve no one to shop for. On the fire with this. Kill it dead.

OMG Shani you’re such a whiner, who cares? All the gift guides are for women anyway, just shop those and crawl back in your single girl hole with your kitting.

No.

Single women, I see you, with your empty spaces beneath your Christmas trees and your piles of nothing next to your Menorahs and since you don’t have tons of loved ones or offspring to shop for (or receive gifts from) this holiday season, here’s what I think you should buy for yourself. I am also happy to curate single women gift guides on theme, I take requests. Here we go:

Happy Holidays to single women and their pets only. I hope you get everything you want.

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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