And it is most definitely not your fault.

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To begin, I take umbrage (what a fantastic word) with “still.” Still implies that you’re late, that you haven’t done something fast enough, and that’s bad. Last I checked, not only was there no globally mandated timeline for partnerships, but I’m pretty sure we have the capacity to love until we’re dead. Whatever time it is, you’ve got more, and “still” is a trash way of pressuring you into feeling like a loser. Now then, let’s get on with it.

This is a response to an article that was recently brought to…

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Buzz off.

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I know what you’re thinking. I know you spotted me, a human woman who is single, better still one who writes about being single for other single women, and you thought to yourself…here’s a ripe one. She’s single! She’s a woman! That can only mean one thing: She loves vibrators. She must love talking about vibrators! Publicly! Single women love three things: cats, wine, and vibrators, let’s get her! Listen to me, you arcane toymongers. We have a bad habit in our society of associating single women with lack. Aw, sad single girl, nobody’s around to give her…

Calling all writers who vividly remember the smell of Lip Smackers.

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Calling all Atta Girl writers and those who would like to be! April’s Group Zoom with editor Shani Silver is happening Tuesday, April 27th @ 6pm EST!

These Zooms exist because it’s my belief that Medium publications aren’t really offering much to writers, they’re just scooping up their content and giving nothing in return. Blunt? Yes. True? Also yes. It is my strong preference that in addition to a Medium publication, Atta Girl is also a community, one that connects writers together and also helps them improve their skills.

A few things that won’t work for me in the After.

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I got vaccinated four days ago: let’s tell some truth! Having just lived through 13 months of being afraid to leave the house and never touching a human being apart from an annual PAP smear which most certainly does not count, I have some thoughts on how my social life will be expected to work moving forward. There were so many annoying micromoments that used to occur in the social world that led us all to do things like rejoice when plans were cancelled, and seeing as how literally…

You don’t have to lower your standards to meet dating culture in the gutter.

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Dating is hard. The worst. A dumpster fire full of broken glass and angry bees. I feel like, by now…we get it. I don’t need to hear any more “horror stories” or see any more screen shots on social media. Dating culture has become a nightmare—I’m not on the fence about this. My question is, what impact is this nightmare actually having on single women? I am deeply concerned that it’s training single women to lower their expectations until they expect nothing close to what they…

How to make something worth listening to on a walk.

Never waste a good wing day.

Today marks two years since the launch of A Single Serving Podcast, the brainchild of a frustrated writer who was tired of beachy wave influencers achieving outlandish success by creating “I think for me…” content. If they can do it, so can I, and I did.

The podcast exists because I wanted single women to have something made for them that wasn’t about dating, that didn’t imply from its very existence that their singlehood was something wrong with them. Beyond that, I actually wanted to help single women feel good about being single, so that we’d be less likely to…

It’s human behavior, not binary code. Get to the point.

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I know you’re busy, so let’s start strong. There’s nothing you can do that will “make” someone do what you want them to do. I’m very sorry, but I see no benefit to you if I lie and say that your passive behaviors will magically result in the outcome you’re too scared to ask for. It’s 2021 babes, I’ve neither the patience nor the marbles left in my head to coddle fools.

As humans, we have a bad habit of thinking we can do something that will somehow prompt someone…

In a long and lonely pandemic, New York can still cure what ails you.

Photo of a mostly empty Met by me.

It started at 6am. I looked at my calendar for the day, and after more than a year of waiting — for a vaccine, for some hope, for the sun to set — I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t swallow one more day of the drag that is waiting for real life to resume. A coffee date with a friend wasn’t scheduled until noon, and I knew I’d never make it that far. …

Answering a few worst case what ifs.

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If you haven’t read it, take a look at Pondering A Future Alone by Yael Wolfe. A podcast listener of mine recently shared it with me, and top to bottom it’s honest, direct, and poetic, three indicators that it’s worth your time and eyeballs. It’s asking some incredibly valid questions but more than that, it’s asking relatable ones. Yael beautifully walks us through the thought process of a single woman, and those thoughts aren’t sad, wrong, or weak—they’re incredibly powerful and real, and ignoring them doesn’t serve us well. I love the questions…

There are moments of innocence and joy remaining on the internet, and they’re delicious.

Screengrab via Sad Papi on TikTok

You don’t have to download TikTok if you don’t want to, I want to make that clear up front. Sad Papi is also on Instagram and you’re welcome to learn how to cook there instead. But if you do download TikTok, you’ll get to see a lot more comedians and dogs, so give it some thought. Sad Papi, whose real name is Brandon but why would you call him that when you can call him Sad Papi, is a TikTok creator with ten years of experience…

Shani Silver

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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