As if $6.99 Prosecco only belongs to the marrieds. By now we’ve established that I use our internet to air grievances in a way that is fiscally beneficial. “May whatever hurts my feelings make me money” is not only a motto, it’s a tax bracket. I have one small addendum…

And not a dating tip in the bunch. Technically, the only thing I really have to say to single women is “enough with the dating advice, live your fucking life,” but I have time for a bit more depth this morning. Support for single women is something of a speciality…

And it is most definitely not your fault. To begin, I take umbrage (what a fantastic word) with “still.” Still implies that you’re late, that you haven’t done something fast enough, and that’s bad. Last I checked, not only was there no globally mandated timeline for partnerships, but I’m pretty…

Self care isn’t selfish. We’re so quick to show up for others, but have you shown up for yourself recently? I mean really when’s the last time you did something for yourself that didn’t fall under bare minimum, essential needs? Self Kindness has had terrible PR representation since the dawn…

You keep insulting us…I do not think it means what you think it means. Yesterday, human embodiment of the scary cabinet under the sink Matt Gaetz had a thought that pleased him right down to his toenails, which I can only imagine are sharpened to a fine point. …

You’ll watch it. There are 11 versions of The Real Housewives based in the United States, and 21 versions internationally. I don’t know y’all I think we have enough? In society’s seemingly endless appetite for pageantry, drama, and upended furniture, I get it—I get why there are so many. It’s…

Paying people what they’re worth? In this economy? The internet, still a mere teenager in the grand scheme of human invention, raised us all to be freeloaders. Endless, regular consumption of information, entertainment, connection, porn, you name it—it’s all there, and it’s all free, and we all made ourselves feel…

It wasn’t always about “fitting in.” For some of us, it was about disappearing. We can skip over my grandmother screaming at salespeople to turn the music down, neither of us need to revisit that trauma today. Where we can focus instead is on a story about teenage fashion I…

Our rage is rational, but it’s optional too. It’s not a jealousy thing. Jealousy is a child’s toy compared to singlehood anger. Anger is what sets in later, after years of watching everyone you know partner up while you become the last one standing—and you watch yourself become the thing…