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Single life is, culturally speaking, about what you don’t have. Every song, movie, Medium post, etc. is about the longing and lack of singlehood. And while those feelings are valid, they’re not our only options. I don’t think the sweetness of singlehood is celebrated enough. As evidenced by the fact that you had no idea singlehood was even sweet in the first place. Thus below, the juicy bits. The delicious, inhale-able moments of singlehood too often missed when we’re heads-down in a hunt for partnership. Give yourself a break, look up, and enjoy. Know that enjoying single days is possible.
- Always getting the middle cinnamon roll, or the corner brownie.
2. The feeling of accomplishment after solo-assembling furniture designed to be put together by two.
3. Without warning, really needing to listen to The Judds back catalog.
4. Successfully getting a bug to fly out of your home.
5. There is no “side” of the bed. There is the bed.
6. Knowing that your personal spice tolerance is the only one that matters.
7. Picking up and holding a warm cat who has just woken up from a nap.
8. Tossing salad together in a gigantic bowl and transferring it to a smaller, prettier bowl before eating.
9. Admiring flowers you bought for yourself on the coffee table and deeply understanding how they bring more joy than those sent by lovers, times ten.
10. Pet. Costumes.
11. Popping open a bottle of champagne that is all yours to enjoy.
12. Cracking open a new book and reading it uninterrupted for as long as you like.
13. Whatever porn you want, whenever you want.
14. Wearing comfy pants that should have met the business end of a trash can, perhaps yeas ago.
15. Going to sleep and waking up at any time you see fit without having to justify your actions to anyone else.
16. Repeating favorite songs shamelessly, and eternally.
17. Bodily function freedom.
18. Uninterrupted meditation.
19. Buying a whole melon for yourself. Fuck it.
20. The sweet freedom of turning off a television program in the middle of it if you simply don’t want to keep watching.
21. Dropping something edible on the floor, eating it anyway, telling no one.
22. The inexplicable and entirely personal organization of things in cabinets.
23. The euphoria of an unshared but beautifully composed cheese board.
24. Landry/Dish/Handsoap scent selection authority.
25. Spilling something on yourself and carrying on as though nothing has happened.
26. The emotional balm one receives from rewatching The West Wing. Yes again.
27. Going on a trip somewhere you’ve been already.
28. The freedom to go apeshit with holiday decor during the season of your choosing.
29. Using fancy olive oil every day.
30. Flawlessly applying a face mask with a brush.
31. Gulping orange juice from the carton.
32. Countless scented candles and cups of tea, often enjoyed at the same time.
33. Finishing a movie and then starting it immediately over again from the beginning.
34. Dear lord, the throw pillows.
35. Eating a candy cane completely out of season.
36. Buying bubbles and blowing them around the house with that little plastic wand.
37. Pouring things into carafes.
38. Never, ever worrying that the noise you’re making in the morning will wake someone else up.
39. Purchasing a kind of candy you really liked as a kid and smiling all the way back home knowing you have it.
40. Achieving a truly inspired collection of condiments.
41. Spending real money on pajamas. Regretting nothing.
42. Drawing a bath, and setting up a table nearby with a bowl of summer cherries and a standup comedy special playing on a laptop. (True story.)
43. Being a dogparent and knowing that every.single.morning. someone is genuinely happy to see you. Perpetually being in awe of this.
44. Sleeping on sheets of your preferred thread count and texture.
45. Loud FaceTime catch-ups with friends without the worry that you’re bothering someone else in the room.
46. The freedom to plan the attempt of an intricate recipe, ruin it in preparation, and order Thai food instead, shame-free.
47. Planning things for yourself, and looking forward to them.
48. Figuring out a very tech thing all by yourself.
49. Listening to podcasts out loud because there’s no need for the politeness of headphones.
50. The absence of annoyance. No one else’s shit is ever lying around.
51. It’s always easier to find one seat at the bar than two.
52. Slicing a loaf of bread and eating the very middle of it first, if you want.
53. Consuming a season of television at entirely your own pace.
54. Side dishes for dinner.
Shani Silver is a humor essayist and podcaster based in Brooklyn who writes on Medium, a lot.