5 Things Preserving My Sanity During My Move

I mean I’m not okay, but they’re helping.

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Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

I am moving in four days. I have been packing for a week and a half. I want to scream my current apartment down to its very atoms I am so sick of looking at and bumping into boxes. There is no amount of mental preparation or internal fortitude that can prevent moving from sucking. And as this seems to be the moving day that’s arriving by turtle-drawn carriage, I thought I’d pass the time by showing a bit of love to the very vikings that are keeping me together during a time of utter chaos and upheaval.

1: Criminal Minds: This endless episodic has long been my comfort food show. Let’s save the discussion of what it says about me that serial killer content is what I like to unwind with at the end of the day, I really can’t solve any more problems right now. I have been spending my evenings parked and quiet in front of Agent Hotchner and Co because I can’t deal with the additional stress of making plans and Matthew Gray Gubler is pretty.

2: NadaMoo Non-Dairy Ice Cream: I cannot find comfort in my home, so I shall find it in treats. My current diet consists primarily of iced coffee and this glorious, lactose intolerant-friendly concoction that I’ve just discovered comes in WAY more flavors than my local Whole Foods would lead me to believe. Ice cream is never going to be healthy, but this dreamy substance comes close while also being delicious and kind to my (currently extra fragile) tummy. I prefer the mint chip, if you’re curious.

3: Early Bed Times: Fuck being awake, honestly. I will sleep through as many hours of the day as humanly possible if it means I have to deal with less of the absolute hovel my apartment has become. “But omg just think of the place you’re moving into, it’s gonna be so great, doesn’t that make you feel better?” Sure Susan. I’m on day 12 of Box Life and I’m going to have the disposition of something stuck in your pool’s filter until this shit ends on Friday morning. It’s best for everyone if I just go to sleep.

4: Walking: Sometimes I just leave. Yesterday it was pouring rain but I couldn’t sit in this living game of Tetris any longer so I walked myself around my current neighborhood and came home in need of a costume change. I cared little for my soggy coverings and chose to rejoice instead that I was distracted for 30 minutes.

5: Stickers: I keep putting stickers on the boxes. I don’t know what that’s about.

That’s the scene over here at the corner of Tape Dispenser Lane and Silent Scream Avenue. I look forward to the day I can take to my laptop with nothing but joy in my heart, and things on my shelves.

Written by

NPR once called me a humor essayist, let’s go with that. Host of A Single Serving Podcast. shanisilver[at]gmail

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