3 Subtle Ways Single Women Are Bullied

Shani Silver
10 min readMay 25, 2021

Also, stop.

Photo by lucas da miranda from Pexels

When I tell people I work in the singlehood space, I think they assume my career must have something to do with dating. Because everything that has to do with single women must be about dating, right? I mean my god dating is probably the only activity I’ve ever actually seen a single woman do in media and popular culture other than work, you know…so that she can afford to keep dating. In reality, the work that I do is one thing for single women that doesn’t focus on dating. It does however focus on literally everything else.

There is a wider world beyond the complete centering of dating in single women’s lives, but that doesn’t mean that it’s free of hot trash incoming. We have friends, family members, colleagues, hair stylists—there are all sorts of people in our orbit. Sometimes, these people like to tell single women things that they have extracted directly from their own assholes. Sometimes when they say things to single women casually, in passing, and with good intentions, they’re actually bullying single women into further shame and hatred of our single state.

This isn’t out of nowhere. I recently received an email from a podcast listener, and while I tried to finish reading it without crying, I failed. This woman described a scenario where she went out on a first date with a man who was kind and respectful…